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An ecumenical set of jokes

October 23, 2012

Some religious jokes and humour

Firstly as he has been in the news recently here is the excellent Rowan Atkinson playing the Devil.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=XFGrQMD6Uqc#!

And this one about the couple converting to Orthodox Judaism

A couple, preparing for conversion, meet with the orthodox rabbi for their final session. The rabbi asks if they have any final questions. The man asks, “Is it true that men and women don’t dance together?” 

“Yes,” says the rabbi, “For modesty reasons, men and women dance separately.” 

“So I can’t dance with my own wife?” 

“No.” 

“Well, okay,” says the man, “but what about sex?” 

“That’s fine,” says the rabbi. “It’s a mitzvah (commandment from God ) within the marriage!” 

“What about different positions?” the man asks. 

“No problem,” says the rabbi. 

“Woman on top?” the man asks. 

“Why not?” replies the rabbi. 

“Well, what about standing up?” 

“NO, CERTAINLY NOT!” says the rabbi. “That could lead to dancing!” 

No Jews or Christians will riot over these jokes

Not quite sure about what will result from this one though:

When a Christian or a Jew says ‘God told me to do it’, it’s normally to do with building a school or a hospital or working for a charity.

Far too often when a Muslim says ‘God told me to do it’, it is normally to do with blowing up a school, a hospital or a charity.

5 Comments
  1. Paris Claims permalink

    Sign on top of a cliff
    Bungee jumping £5.00 a go
    Muslims free…..no strings attached.

    • Two Islamic women are walking along in burkhas. One says to the other ‘does my bomb look big in this?’

      and another

      ‘I bought a Saudi women’s diary off of ebay the other day. It came already pre printed with diary entries. This is what it said:

      Monday – stayed in

      Tuesday – stayed in

      Wednesday – stayed in

      Thursday – stayed in

      Friday – stayed in

      Saturday – stayed in

      Sunday – stayed in”

  2. Robert the Biker permalink

    Afeministvisits Kabul just after the fall of the taliban and is disgusted to see all the women walking 5 paces behind their menfolk. A year later she returns and is delighted to see the men now walk 5 paces behind the women.
    She asks the interpreter “What brought about the change?” He replied “Landmines”

  3. Robert the Biker permalink

    A feminist visits Kabul just after the fall of the taliban and is disgusted to see all the women walking 5 paces behind their menfolk. A year later she returns and is delighted to see the men now walk 5 paces behind the women.
    She asks the interpreter “What brought about the change?” He replied “Landmines”

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